fuck it all.

here. you might understand now.

monday:
so on sunday i been worried bout my best friend kristine all weekend. abby and i waited for her to get to school that day. she finally gets there as the bell rings. she tells us that she has to go a private school. a fucking private school. she looks like she is bout to bust into tears right in front of us. and that whole day sucked fucking ass. i am losing my fucking best friend. OH and you want to know why. her parents dont want her to be the way she is. and that makes her parents mad at me and abby now. cause i am gay. and abby is bi. and they think kristine is the wya she is. because of us. FUCK THAT. i dont want to lose her at all. i cant have her gone. she is my best friend.
later that night. my dad. yells at me for not having a job. it isnt my fault i cant get a job. at all. i tried very hard to get a job. and no one will accept me to work there. and it isnt my fault. i do want a job. no. i fucking need a job.
i cried myself to sleep that night.

tuesday:
sucked more.
kristine wasnt at school. she was gone all day.
dad yelled again.

wedenday:
was amazing. no problems. it was wonderful

thursday:
perfect. i think i like this boy. and i think the internet sucks. and i think not having a boyfriend sucks more. everyone believes i should have a boyfriend. i dont. stop thinking i should. i dont. makes me mad that everyone thinks that. i want a boyfriend. i dont have one. and i think having would be fucking great. just to have someone that would care and be there for you. perfect.

friday:
amazing time with abby. we went to a soccer game. we had food. it was good.
when driving home. we talked bout. losing kristine. she will change. we wont have her. we wont hang. we talked bout college and the rest of the school year. we think that we will be there for each other. until school./ and then when college comes. we wont ever see each other anymore. i want to travel. i want to be there with my friends. colleges ruins plans. i dont want to lose my friends. at all. i will miss them way to much.
cried again.

saturday night:
so my parents. not buying me a car. micky ds cant hire me until summer. i have no fucking way to work if i get a job. no money. no car. nothing. it sucks. paretns arent going to help. fuck that. i cant even drive yet. not far at all. fuck it all.

internet life atm.:
on 1awesomweek i fail so bad.
i suck at vlogs there and everyone should know it. i hate that i dont try to make a good vlog on there. i just been depressed.
aaronisanerd. idfk at all.
friends. i seem to be doing nothing but whining to them. i hate that. i want to fix that and not whine. i want to be happy. i want to meet these people. they are so amazing. ily internet friends.
i hate failing at vlogs. and i hate tweeting sad/rude things.


i needed to say everything. even this.

being gay. is hard. i hate being gay. yet i love it.
my friends love me no matter what. but it is so hard to be gay.
no one where i live is gay. and it sucks.
i hate being made fun of because i am the wya i am.
it isnt fair.. i want to be treated the way i treat people.
i want someone to be there.



bye.
comments are welcomed.
say whatever.
even if it is mean. idc.

bye. .